If I Didn't Have You
by DanieXJ
Summary: Kim and Kerry reconnect on a dating site, but, do either of them realize with whom they're talking? And, if or when they find out, will it work this time, or are they just setting themselves up for a second round of disappointment?
1. Chapter 1

Takes place in the current time. i.e. it's been 12 years since Kerry and Kim last saw each other.

oOOOOo

"Mama- you need to get a girlfriend."

Kerry glanced over at her son and narrowed her eyes for a second before she looked back to the road, "Why do you always choose when we're in the car to grill me young man?"

Henry Weaver smirked and chuckled, "'cause I'm... wiley... Uncle Carlos says so."

Kerry sighed, "Uncle Carlos... so, how is your Uncle doing?"

"His computer broke... the motherboard fried itself, so we had to talk on the phone."

Kerry gave a faux gasp, "Oh no... the phone."

"Ha. Ha..." He paused, "Ha..."

Kerry chuckled, "Sorry, but you know Henry..."

Henry rolled his eyes, "It's your job 'cause you're my Mom... I know."

"Because..."

"Mama..."

The passenger in the other back seat prevented mother and son from having any more of their conversation as she let out a mighty yell for Mama as well. "I think Lee's hungry."

"We're almost home-"

"Can I-" Henry trailed off as Kerry cleared her throat. Henry rolled his eyes, "May I go to Roger's house after lunch?"

Kerry nodded, "Yes. Just..."

Henry cut his Mom off again, "Call you if I'm gonna- going to have dinner." He paused, "Are you going to go on a date sometime though?"

"You're not going to stop unless I say I will huh?"

Henry shrugged, "Probably not."

Kerry smiled as she pulled into the driveway. "Do you have anyone in mind Cirano?"

Henry shrugged, "No... but, that's your part. I mean, I'm not going to go all crazy if you don't, or if you know. You know?"

Kerry turned off the car and lowered the garage door. She turned to Henry. "You and Leonora... you're all I need Henry."

Henry got out of the car and went into the house without another word. Kerry got out too and released Leonora from her seat, "Ready for lunch Lee?"

"Yes Mama."

"You don't care if I have a girlfriend or not, right?"

Leonora looked over at Kerry with a puzzled look on her young face, "Girfend?"

Kerry smiled to herself. "That's my girl."

oOOOOo

"When are you gonna give up?"

Kim sat back and ran her hand through her unruly locks. "I don't know, when the dates stop sucking?"

"You're too picky."

Kim shrugged, "Maybe... but, I found a new site."

The blonde sitting across the small table from Kim groaned, "Kimmy-"

"Katie- I tapped out the Chicago vein, so, I went online. Now, this one keeps almost all the personal info hidden. Well, hidden from the other users, not from the administrators."

Kate frowned as she watched Kim tap on her laptop's keyboard, "Even gender?"

"Yep."

"Ah..."

Kim looked up, "What, you don't think that I can figure out who's a male and who's a female online? Trained psychiatrist remember?"

Kate glanced through the coffee shop's window and across the street, "Yep, but, does it still count if you're running a garage? Wouldn't that make you more of a trained mechanic?"

Kim carefully closed her laptop and gulped down the rest of her coffee, "Yeah, well-" She stood. "I should get back there."

Kate didn't catch up with Kim until she was nearly back to the garage. "Hey- hey- I was just kidding around. I'm sorry."

Kim leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. "No. I'm sorry Kate. Today's just... It was two years ago today."

"Oh shit Kim, I'm sorry."

Kim pushed herself off the wall, "S'okay. Let's get your car."

Kate caught Kim's arm, "Hey- I didn't mean." She looked up at the wooden sign above the garage's doors that red 'Legaspi's Garage'. "He'd be really proud Kim-"

Kim sighed and pushed through the human sized door. "no... none of them would be anywhere near proud of me at the moment. That much I do know."

oOOOOo

Kerry laid her head back against the couch for a moment. Both Henry and Leonora were finally in bed.

After a few moments she pulled over her laptop and booted it. She looked through her mail, personal and work. Surfed a few of the news sites and then after a moment's pause, clicked on a bookmark that was buried deep in her folder structure. It was put there just to make sure that if either child ever got onto her user they wouldn't just stumble onto it.

Kerry shook her head and mumbled to herself, "Online dating. What am I doing?"

She opened it up and signed on. She had two new people with whom she was 'alike'. She clicked on the first and winced, "Nope."

She clicked on the second one, someone with the username 'Chicagoan768111' and to her surprise, read past the first sentence of the person's description. The descriptions on the site weren't really supposed to be height, weight, color hair, eyes, etc. From what Kerry had seen on the site it was supposed to be some high falutin philosophical statement about yourself. She was pretty sure that hers probably came off as that anyway.

Kerry read through the description again. She, Chicagoan768111, and Kerry was pretty sure that it was a she, was born and raised in Chicago, other than brothers no family to speak of. Kerry frowned at that. Not sure what it meant. But, other than that the woman seemed funny. Joking in the description about how she'd tried every other dating site and so she was trying the site that pretended not to be a dating site.

Kerry's mouse hovered over the 'MSG Chicagoan768111' link. Kerry loved Henry and Leonora, but she knew deep in her heart that something was missing. She was missing adult companionship. Someone to talk to, to listen to, to be loved by and to love who could also vote, drink, rent a car.

She clicked on the link and the message box popped up.

_I'm not sure what to call you so, I think I'll stick with Chicagoan for now (and that is a lot of numbers after your name, there must be a story to those). I feel like I'm writing a cover letter. I'm an only child and my parents died awhile ago. To make up for that I have two kids, a boy and a girl. They're the light of my life. If you haven't stopped reading yet. I too have had a bumpy road when it comes to relationships and am not sure why I'm still trying._

_This is short, but, I'm not entirely convinced you'll respond, or that this isn't some very complicated Turing Test._

_Regards,  
H_LsMom_

Kerry sat back and glanced towards the back of the house where Leonora and Henry's rooms were. She hit Send before she could think better of it and closed her eyes. "That was such a bad idea."

oOOOOo

"I'm fine Christy- no, no- I'm not at home. I'm still at work." Kim stifled a groan, "No, I'm not going to do anything stupid. I'm past that. I just need some time alone tonight." Kim closed her eyes as Christy finally wound down. "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye Christy."

Kim let her cell drop onto the workbench and pushed the carburetor she'd been working on to the side. She stared down at her hands.

After a long moment she shook her head, wiped her hands off and pulled her laptop over from the desk she used for paperwork. She pulled up the dating site and perused all the messages she'd gotten since the last time she'd logged on. Some were flirty, others way too serious and a few were just disturbing.

She raised an eyebrow when she came to the username 'H_LsMom'. "Well, I gotta open that one..." she smiled to herself, "Probably a woman, although... you never know."

She read it silently and by the end found herself smiling. Not the smile she gave nearly everyone, not the smile that still had pain in it two years later, but a real smile that only her brothers, and nephews got to see.

Kim thought for a moment, then opened a reply.

_**I don't think I'm a computer, although these days I work with too many for my liking. Are you a computer? I'll work under the assumption you aren't either (and will be ignoring your question about the numbers for now, but, yes, there is a story, multiple stories actually). I can tell that you haven't done this much, which is okay, since I think I've done this too much.**_

_**I take it you're a Mom. Although, now that I think about it, H and L could be cats, dogs, or gerbils. I have none of the above. Way too busy. No human kids either. The timing never seemed to work out right and now...**_

_**What am I doing? This is supposed to be me being light and fun, so, enough of my sob story. Your favorite book, favorite movie and favorite TV Show?**_

_**I leave it at that for now.**_

_**~Ms. Turing**_

Kim sat back and looked over the message. Nothing too involved, but still a little something of her was in there. She hit send and went back into the garage proper. She ran her hand along the dark green side of the half repaired motorcycle that sat in the very back of the two lift garage. It was a Harley Davidson, a Knucklehead, "You don't have a computer brain- no rebooting required. Simple. Uncomplicated."


	2. Chapter 2

"Maamaaa-"

"Leonoraaa-"

Leonora laughed as Kerry swung her up, "Bwds, bwds."

Henry hurfed, but even before Kerry could say a word he ended his game and started up Angry Birds on the tablet he was using. "Here ya go Lee."

Leonora tried to lunge for Henry, but Kerry kept a strong arm around her, "You- you..."

Henry sighed as he got up, "Yeah, whatever..." And went into the living room. He slumped onto the couch. He didn't look up when Kerry also entered the room and put Leonora down to play on the floor with the tablet.

She came over and sat on the couch next to her son, "You know she was just saying thank you."

Henry sighed, "Yeah, I know... Mama- are we going home over the summer?"

Kerry put an arm around Henry and pulled him to her side, "You miss Uncle Carlos."

Henry nodded even though there hadn't been a question in Kerry's tone. "I know that- it is what it is Mama- I just..."

"Wouldn't you miss Roger and Liam and..." She smiled just a bit, "Tess?"

That made Henry look up and narrow his eyes at his mother, "Mama."

"Well?"

"I guess. But, we can go see Uncle Carlos for our vacay?"

Kerry kissed the top of Henry's head, "That was the plan."

"Cool." Henry practically popped from the couch, "Lee, wanna play?"

Lee's eyes lit up and she scrambled to her brother's side, following him back to their rooms, the table forgotten on the floor.

Kerry picked it up and shut down Angry Birds. She tried not to think too much as she logged onto the dating site. She blinked in surprise. There was a response from Chicagoan768111. She opened it and chuckled as she read it.

After a moment of thought she opened a reply of her own.

_Silas Marner by George Eliot, although, it used to be Mansfield Park, Silence of the Lambs and Warehouse 13. I am aware that one of those things is much less like the other. I've always liked all of what Eliot wrote. The first time I watched Silence of the Lambs I was just intrigued and it is such a masterful piece of film. As for Warehouse 13 I couldn't really tell you why I like it. I think it may have something to do with the character of Mrs. Fredric. Her little... power would have come in handy at some points in my life that's for sure._

_So, what is your favorite book, movie and TV show? And yes, H and L are human children. My human children._

_(And, you'll notice, I've dropped the number question.)_

Kerry sat back and stared down at the screen. On the one hand she found Chicagoan768111 humorous and there was something about her writing that tickled the back of Kerry's brain for some reason. As if she should remember something but nothing was coming to mind. On the other hand, it was online. It was just as likely that Chicagoan768111 was a serial killer or a teenage boy catfishing her. And knowing Kerry's luck- the truth was probably the former and not the latter. And yet...

She sat still, listening to Henry and Leonora play in one of their rooms. "Ah- what the hell." She continued her response.

_My kids are a boy who's nine and a little girl who's almost three. They're the lights of my world. They both vex me completely and make me a complete person._

_Since I told you about my username, are you from Chicago? Or live in it? Blackhawks, Bulls, Bears, White Sox?_

_And one last question. Do we keep to usernames and nicknames -Ms. Turing-?_

_~H + L's Mom_

"Mama- come watch us."

Kerry logged out and put to sleep the tablet and went down the hall to see what her kids were up to.

oOOOOo

Kim laughed and the older woman who kept Legaspi's Garage running and pretty much did everything but fix the cars, trucks and motorcycles looked up. She was definitely past the technical retirement age, but on most days Roberta Yates had triple the energy of Kim.

"Kimberly?"

Kim glanced up, "Robbie..."

Roberta narrowed her eyes over her reading glasses at the younger woman, "It's a good thing that I was your mother's best friend young lady or..."

Kim gave Roberta a real smile, "I know, I know... or you'd have put me..."

Roberta cut Kim off, "...in your place young lady." Her stare softened. "It's good to see you laugh and smile Kimberly. Although I'm sure your two... lady friends... wouldn't be happy that it's not either of them who are making you smile." Roberta paused and looked at Kim with a pointed look again, "What is this young woman's name then?"

Kim shook her head, "Don't know if she's young Roberta. Or her real name. She's H underscore L's Mom online though."

The teasing faded from Roberta's face and voice, "Kimberly. That is a serious situation."

Kim sighed and stood, "One. So far she's sent me a message, and I sent her a message back. That's it. And, you don't think that I know that children make it serious Roberta?" She shook her head, "I'm going to go have my lunch in the garage."

"Kimberly, I didn't mean..."

Kim waved a hand, "No problem. Hold down the fort, and give a yell if anyone calls for the tow."

"Kimberly-" But Kim was already through the doorway that joined the business office to the garage. Roberta frowned. She and Kim's mother Julianna had grown up together in the neighborhood. Julianna had died when Kim was six and Roberta had become closer to the entire Legaspi family, especially Kim, since she was the only girl in the house. Surrounded by three brothers and a father.

Over all the years since Roberta had been the closest that Kim, and her brothers had to a mother since Miles Sr. had never remarried or even dated. And, Roberta worried for Kim. She could see past the blonde's bravada and joking to where Kim just wanted someone to settle down with and make a life.

Roberta shook her head and got back to work on all the paperwork that kept the garage running as smoothly as it did. She wasn't Kim's mother. Kim was a grown woman. She could take care of herself. And so, Roberta would back off as she always did and on Sunday when she went to church on Sunday she'd pray for her goddaughter. She'd pray that Kim would find her soulmate like Roberta had, or that at least Kim would find someone who wouldn't break Kim's heart again. Roberta glanced up at the ceiling for a beat, "And you better let the woman she finds already be a lesbian..."

oOOOOo

"Ready to go -Crawford-?"

"Mama-" Kerry smiled, "Yeah, yes... I'm ready. You know..."

Kerry opened the trunk of the car and Henry plunked his hockey bag with all his gear from his pads to glove and mask, and they both got in. Henry buckled up before he spoke again, "Mama- it's okay if you don't watch my games. I know I'll never be Corey Crawford, and that you have so much to do and whatever.""

Kerry didn't start the car. Instead she turned almost all the way around to face her son, "First of all, who says you won't be the next Corey Crawford, or Tuukka Rask, or Henrik Lundqvist? I will never understand the game like your Mama Sandy did or your Uncle Carlos or any of your Uncles do, but, I need you to believe me when I say that I love watching you play hockey goalie. I'm not going to your game because I have to Henry. I want to. You're my son. Do you believe me young man?"

Henry couldn't look at his mother and stared out the window instead. "I don't... I don't know."

Kerry turned back towards the front of the car, "Good thing that you're only nine then, and I'm your ride." She smiled to herself.

oOOOOo

Kerry sank onto the couch with a groan. The stands at the arena weren't the most comfortable ones in the world and it felt as though she could feel all her bones, especially her repaired hip. She turned on her laptop. The wallpaper she used was the Chicago skyline. It wasn't just Henry who wanted to go back to Chicago. Kerry had been thinking about it too. Add to that the fact that her contract with the TV station was nearly up...

She leaned her head back against the sofa, her eyes closed, trying to figure out when Chicago of all places had become home.

Finally she opened her eyes and focused on the screen. She opened up the dating site and found herself relaxing just a bit as she saw she had a message from Chicagoan768111, or because of their joke as she was now thinking of the woman, Ms. Turing.

_ **HLM (so much easier to type without all those non-letter characters),** _

_ **So, we're still doing this- huh? At this point I'd probably wonder in prose form if we should meet, but, I get the feeling that you're not in Chicago. I also got a verbal scolding from the closest thing I have to a mother that I should pump the brakes a little because you have kids.** _

_ **So, back to the questions. TV show is a hard one since I don't really read or watch much TV these days. So, these'll have to be classics of a sort. Book, the Bootlegger's Daughter by Margaret Maron. It's a classic, trust me. Movie, Monsters, Inc (don't ask, it involves two nephews) and as for TV. I don't think that I've ever seen Warehouse 13. Is it good?** _

_ **Do you see how I very subtly redirected the conversation back to you? No, not working? How about I go with what my inner lesbian is telling me to say, Xena: Warrior Princess. Full of great action scenes, a few too many hunks of the week, and those abs...** _

_ **Where was I?** _

Kerry laughed and shook her head as she continued reading. This was a longer message.

_ **So, we have totally different tastes in mass media. Is it time to move onto what we do for work, where our lives want to go, our hopes, our dreams, our failures?** _

_ **I apologize for the scattered tone of this message. Yesterday was the anniversary of my father's death. I lost my mother when I was six and so only sort of remember her, he raised me and made me everything that I was. I don't know, it's been two years and yet except for here and there it feels as though it was yesterday.** _

_ **So, wow, I certainly got us off on a very depressing tangent didn't I.** _

Kerry's mouth dropped open. Somehow she managed to finish reading the message.

_ **I promise, next message'll be much less depressing.** _

_ **~Ms. Turing** _

Kerry closed her eyes, "I knew this was such a bad, bad idea..."


	3. Chapter 3

"Hello- hello? Is someone inside?"

Kim glanced up from her work on the Knucklehead. She went to the garage door and opened the human sized door just a bit. A diminutive older woman stood there. She looked frazzled and frightened. "Do you have a phone perhaps?"

"What's wrong ma'am?"

The woman's eyes darted all around, "A tire went flat on my car."

Kim grabbed an electric lantern from a shelf by the door, stepped outside, and locked the door behind herself. "Let's go change it then."

The woman looked Kim up and down. "You will? Not your husband?"

Kim smiled, "I'm Kim- Kim Legaspi. No husband, but, I've been changing tires practically since I could walk."

When they got to the car an older model Toyota Corolla wagon. The woman paused and turned towards Kim, "Florina Lopez."

Kim shook Florina's hand, "Good to meet you Mrs. Lopez. We'll get your tire fixed up and you on your way."

"Thank you Miss Legaspi."

oOOOOo

The TV was muted and Henry simply looked up and over at his mother.

Kerry smiled, "Yes... you can stay up. but- the moment-"

Henry nodded, "The minute it's over, I promise, I'll go to bed." Henry paused and laid his head against his mother's shoulder. "I am tired..."

"Well- we'd better keep you awake somehow then. Wouldn't want you to miss the rest of the game."

Henry nodded as he yawned. He watched the ads on the TV for a minute before he spoke again, "I love you Mama... and believe you, I just..."

Kerry brushed a lock of Henry's hair out of his eyes and put her arm around his shoulders, "Want to go home and for more than just a vacation. I know Henry."

"And, I know it's not really easy like that Mama, it's just... I miss Uncle Carlos, and Aunt Elena and Pappa... and sometimes even Nanna."

Kerry managed to hide her grin, "Sometimes even Nanna? Why only sometimes?"

Henry shrugged, "Sometimes she grumbled about you Mama. Is it because... because of Mama Sandy? Or..." He paused, "Because you were my two Moms?"

"No. No Henry, for once, it's much simpler. Happens with men and women who get married too. Sometimes... you just don't get along with the mother of your spouse. But, she's a good lady Henry, so, you can miss her too."

"Ooh, unmute it, unmute it..."

Kerry smiled as the Overtime period got started. She wondered just a bit if it was going to be past 11:30 or even midnight when the game got over, or if someone would score the golden goal before then.

She didn't have to wait long, only 3 minutes and 35 seconds into the OT, the Blackhawks won, again. Kerry thought that the shot right at the end of the game that should have won it was much prettier, and she still wasn't quite sure why it didn't count, but, all was well. The Blackhawks were going to face the Kings in the Western Finals. "Up and at -em kiddo."

Henry stood and disappeared from the living room. But, only a moment later he came back and leaned down, giving Kerry a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for trying Mama. I know... I know that it's all hard and stuff and... Uncle Carlos says that I should say thank you all the time to you..." Then, he was gone again. His mushiness meter tapped out.

Kerry sat there, totally wiped. She didn't really root for or against the Blackhawks, or any sports team for that matter, but still, she was glad that the Blackhawks had won. It would be significantly easier to live with Henry for at least four more games.

She blew out a breath. Next she had to figure out what to do about... Chicagoan768111, Ms. Turing, Kim Legaspi. Kerry wasn't one hundred percent sure that it was Kim. But that line in the last message. It was nearly the exact words that Kim had used on that fateful Thanksgiving after she'd told Kerry about the death of her older brother Miles Jr. As Kerry thought back to the tone of the messages. They sounded like Kim too.

The question was. Did she want to go there? Or, perhaps that wasn't the only question. There was also the question of, did Kim know that Kerry was H_LsMom?

Kerry sighed again, "Damn." She got up from the sofa, there was one thing that she knew. She wasn't going to respond to Kim in her current state, which if she didn't get to her bed soon would be asleep on the hallway floor.

oOOOOo

Florina glanced up at the wall towards in the garage's office as she and Kim came into it. It wasn't just the wheel that was broken, and so Kim had towed it into the garage and offered Florina the use of the office phone to get someone to pick her up. "Oh my... I apologize. I made you miss the ending of the hockey game."

Kim started writing the car take in paperwork without looking at the screen, "Did we win?"

"I believe we did. In OT? I've never understood the game, but my son and dau... my son watches it constantly. Do you watch it?"

Kim looked up at the screen, "I do. Yes. As for the game. Since we won, that means that there'll be at least four more. I think I'll live." She handed the landline phone over the desk. "Here..." And continued on the paperwork. She didn't listen as Florina spoke in rapid Spanish to the person on the other end of the line.

Florina hung up, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I think your car should be ready by tomorrow. I'll give you a call if it shouldn't be." Kim paused, "Your husband?"

"My son Manuel is on his way home from his police shift." She smiled, "He's a good boy."

Kim leaned back against the wall, "Do you have other children?"

"Carlos, he's my baby, a firefighter just like his brother Eduardo, and like his sister Sandy was. Elena is an EMT, and Manuel is a police officer."

Kim smirked, "Ah, so he's the black sheep of the family huh?"

That brought a small smile to Florina's lips, "Yes. My Guillermo was a firefighter as well." Florina went a bit pale, and tried to take a full breath a few times. "I... I..."

Kim came around the counter, "What hurts?"

"Can't... breathe. Stomach feels..."

"Like someone's sitting on it?" Florina nodded. "Can you walk?" Florina gave an even shorter nod. "You're sweating too. Ma'am, I think you're having a heart attack." Florina's eyes flashed with alarm, "Let's get you to the ER. County's right around the corner."

Kim wasn't kidding. It practically took longer for Florina and Kim to get to and into the car than it did to get to County General Hospital. On the way Kim got Manuel's phone number and once there Kim explained what she was pretty sure was going on. They took Florina in and Kim called Manuel Lopez.

Then, she just sat there. She hadn't been inside County General for 12 years. Some of those years she hadn't been in Chicago, and, for some of them, she'd gone to other hospitals or clinics because she wasn't sure if she could take it. As she looked around it wasn't as bad as she'd thought it would be. So much had changed that she barely recognized the ER.

She started when her name was called, "Dr. Legaspi?"

She looked up. "Abby?"

Abby approached her and without missing a step enfolded the blonde in a crushing hug. "What are you doing here? Are you okay? I can take a look if..."

Kim put her hand over Abby's mouth. "I brought someone in. I'm fine, and... it's not Doctor anymore. I haven't practiced in two years."

"Oh... hey, c'mon into the Doctor's Lounge and wait there. Don't want you catching something out here."

Abby pulled a mostly unresisting Kim into the Doctor's Lounge, sat her at the table and placed a mug of coffee in front of her. "You're living here?"

"I am."

"You look like crap. You're practically a skeleton."

Kim gave Abby a smirk, "You look great too Abby. Good to see you. I need to..."

Abby put a hand on Kim's shoulder and pushed her back down. "I haven't seen you for... for..."

"12 Years."

"Not even a peep. What's going on with you?"

Kim sighed, "I don't... I don't want to do this dance Abby. There's a reason that I didn't contact anyone from County. I didn't..."

"...want to know whether or not she took your advice." Kim stared at Abby as if she had three heads. "What? You think that Kerry is the only one who could know everything that goes on in this place." Abby paused, "So, which would be better? If she had a happy life, or not?"

Kim stood and moved away from the table to the window that looked out onto the ambulance bay. "Neither. That's the point." Kim turned back toward Abby, "I loved her Abby... If she's happy with someone else, I won't screw that up, and if she's unhappy and miserable I just couldn't take it. Get it?"

"I... she..." Abby made a noise in the back of her throat, "She's one of my best friends now Kim. How can I just..."

"Don't. Now, I need to go."

Abby frowned and managed to get in between Kim and the door, "Tomorrow, at New Magoo's. Because, we are going to talk, and eat, maybe even things that are so bad for you that Cardio won't let me back in the building."

"You're not going to let me leave without agreeing."

"I'm persistent."

"Stubborn."

Abby smirked, "Well, I have a kid, so, it comes in handy no matter what you call it."

Kim did a double take, "You have a child?"

"Tomorrow, lunch, noon-thirty." Abby winced as the words came out of her mouth. "Sorry."

But, Kim laughed, "Noon-thirty huh. Yep, can't tell you're a Mom at all... Tomorrow... at Noon-thirty, New Magoo's. We'll see."


	4. Chapter 4

Kerry sat alone on the park bench the next afternoon and watched as Henry and Leonora played on the park equipment. She was pondering while she was watching. Pondering whether to just let the epistolary relationship she'd started with, of all people, Kim Legaspi, to drop, or to continue it, see where it went.

She looked up as two men sat down, one on either side of her and a nine year old boy went tearing towards Henry. "Mike. Sullivan. How've you been? Did you see the game?"

Sullivan groaned, but Mike perked up just a bit. Sullivan was the bigger of the two men, and could have been a linebacker in college if he had had any interest in football, or any sport for that matter. But, he'd never been sporty, and Kerry joked with him often that she knew more about the big four sports than he did. On the other hand, he could do amazing, beautiful, and a lot of the time really really useful things with wood and his woodworking tools.

Mike was just a bit skinnier with more of a runner's build, not to mention no hair at all was left on top of his head. Mostly because of nature, but he helped it along by shaving off what little was left.

They did have one thing in common though, they were both very, very Italian looking, although Mike claimed that he had quite a bit of Irish in his family tree.

"It was just horrible how the despicable referees nearly blew it. If the Wings had won..." He shook his head as he trailed off. He was getting a death glare from Sullivan. "Right. But, I'm not allowed to talk about it until at least Saturday..."

Kerry chuckled. "Right. So... how goes Roger's little sister?"

Mike made a face, "We're not going to go there either for the moment."

Sullivan took up the conversation, "Did you know that Henry punched someone today at school?"

Kerry slowly turned towards Sullivan and pinned him with her most Weaver-ish glare. He smiled a half uncomfortable smile, "Ah... I take it that he didn't tell you?"

"He did not. And why didn't I get a call from the teacher?"

Mike shook his head, "Our son told us. Roger said that Henry didn't get caught."

Kerry sighed, "Just one more thing. Would you like a well raised, usually, nine year old. You can have him for cheap."

Sullivan put an arm around Kerry, "Now, I know you're kidding, so I'm going to ignore that joke. You love Henry more than anyone else in the world. So, what's going on."

Kerry blew out a breath. "Something from my past just... reappeared."

Mike winced, "Mother?"

"No."

Sullivan tried, "One of those half siblings?"

Kerry shook her head, "No. I haven't heard from any of the Kingsley-Stewarts recently."

"I've got it. You were once a secret agent and one of your old foes is coming after you, not unusual for you, but you've also just figured out that you're the princess of a faraway land and that foe is really an evil queen wants to kill you and take over this fabled land."

That made Kerry laugh and whack Mike on the shoulder, "I think you have your ABC shows mixed together Mike."

"Daaaddd..."

Mike glanced over at Sullivan. "I think that's for you..."

Sullivan gave Kerry a squeeze before he stood, "Tell Mike whatever it is, he's very good at these..."

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "Sensitive chats?"

Sullivan chuckled as he went over to where Henry, Leonara and Roger were playing. Mike and Kerry watched them in silence for a few moments. "Whatever it is, it can't be too bad. Is..." He blew out a breath, "Is Lee's birth mother trying to re-get custody of her?"

"No... no. It's... Kim Legaspi."

"Whoa... end'a the world methinks."

"Mike."

Mike held up his hands. "Sorry. So, what about your first lesbian love has you all tied in knots?"

"I'm not..."

Mike cut Kerry off, "Exactly, knots. Tell Uncle Mikey..."

Kerry stared into nothing for a few moments, "I met her on a website."

"Dating website?" Kerry shot Mike one of her patented Weavering stares and he just smiled, "Right. I'll table giving you grief about that until after we fix whatever's wrong. So, you met her..."

"...but, I didn't know who she was, and I don't think she knew who I was. But, then she wrote something in one of her messages, and... I'm pretty sure it's her. But, we hurt each other so much before."

"What, more than a decade ago? So? Are you a different person from back then?" Mike watched as Kerry's eyes went to her son and daughter. "I'll take that as a yes. So. Maybe she is too."

"I can't... Henry. Leonora."

Mike made a dismissive noise, "Please Kerry, you and I both know that that's your favorite excuse. C'mon now. Did you like her- the anonymous woman online- before you found out that she was Kim?"

"I guess." Kerry paused, "I thought I could, yes."

"What can it hurt then? Right? They're only ones and zeros. She says, let's meet, you say, hell no, and it's over."

"She's in Chicago."

Mike stood and pulled Kerry up, "See, problem solved. You're here, she's there... nothing to worry about."

Mike went to join his son and husband, leaving Kerry there, thinking.

oOOOOo

"I'm here, I'm here."

Abby narrowed her eyes at Kim, "And late."

"Hey, work comes first."

They both ordered before Abby could grill Kim further, "Since you're not a doctor, what are you doing for work?"

"Legaspi's garage. I didn't always want to be a Psychiatrist. I went to a Voke school not a traditional public school."

"Oh..."

Kim rolled her eyes, "My father worked on my for four years. To convince me to try and get into college, but all I wanted to do was work with him at the Garage. But, it worked. I got into a few colleges and went to one. I took a pre-med class freshman year and was hooked. Went to Pre-Med and did my Residency, then came back here..."

Abby interrupted Kim, "What schools?"

"Ah..."

Abby held her hands up, "Hey, I'm not one to judge, I went to the University of Illinois."

"H..." The rest of the name was mumbled as she took a bite of her sandwhich.

Abby blinked in surprise, "Did you just say... Harvard? You went to Harvard? In Boston?"

"Cambridge, but, yes. I didn't... I didn't go because it was Harvard, I went because it was Cambridge, I fit in. Well..." Kim smirked just a bit, "Fit in might be the wrong word for Cambridge. I could be who I am there, because everyone else was doing the same thing. Plus, when my father read the acceptance letter, I don't think I've ever seen him so happy."

"You..."

Kim cut Abby off, "No, it's your turn. You have a son?"

"Joe. His given name is Josip, after Luka's father. He's six. A bundle of energy. He'll..." Abby sighed, "He'll spend the summer with Luka. He's still in Boston at Mass General."

Kim reached across the table and patted Abby's hand. "Sorry about that. How about your mother?"

Abby smiled with a shake of her head, "Funny you mention that. She's going to stay with me for the summer. Says it's for my own good."

"So, you're going to volunteer for every extra shift you can get?"

A burst of laughter came from Abby, "Damn straight I am. But, really, she's doing great. It's.. it's sort of freaking me out a bit, I feel like something big is coming."

"Abby..."

Abby pointed at Kim, "Nope. You don't get to Abby me like that, with all that concern in your voice. I know that it's not sane to have that thought, but, you're a highly trained Psychiatrist who's fixing cars..."

"...and motorcycles, I have this Knucklehead in my garage at the-"

"Shush... Oh, Janet Coburn is the Chief of Staff. And my sponsor."

Kim blinked in confusion, "Ah, what does the former have to do with the latter?"

"Nothing. Just catching you up."

"Romano's not in charge anymore?"

Abby winced, "No. First he got his arm cut off by a rotor blade, then um..." She shook her head, "A Helicopter fell on him."

Kim shook her head, "See, now I know you're pulling my leg. That's not very nice."

"Dead serious." Abby squeezed her eyes closed at her word choice, "Sorry. No, I'm being serious. Let's see, I think that you also missed the tank through Chicago."

"As for..."

"No."

"Kim."

"Abby. No."

"But..."

Kim cut Abby off, "Anything but about her. Please Abby. How is Carter doing?"

Abby rolled her eyes at that, "Well, he came back for awhile. Got a new kidney, opened the Joshua Carter Center. Stayed for awhile, but, Africa pulled him back. I think that he may have even gotten back with Kem."

"Kem?"

Abby glanced over at the clock above New Magoo's counter. "Yep, this is going to be a lonngg lunch."


	5. Chapter 5

Kim had been on the computer for nearly an hour before she went to the site to see if HLM had answered her. She'd found that even with so few messages, she cared if HLM sent back a response. Kim knew she was a flirt, she'd always been a flirt, never had relationships more than a year or two long, and that's why things like dating websites, speed dating worked so well for her. The current dating scene was tailor made for her, and yet, she didn't want to wind up a 60 year old cool Aunt who was charming and alone.

She ignored the rest of the messages and a small smile came to her face when she saw something from HLM.

_Ms. Turing,_

_No, it's okay. I don't mind depressing. I've had my share of death and sadness too. So, you told me about your father. I'll reciprocate. (To be fair of course... if I teach it to my son, I should employ it myself as well). It's been 9 years, 1 month and 23 days since my wife died. My son's birth mother. Two years, four years, ten years, fifteen, twenty, fifty years, the pain of losing someone doesn't ever fade. Not really. We get caught back up in our lives at some point, but, then we drive by a place, or hear a word or song, see a picture and our brains make the connection that it had made for years, except, it's an old connection, and so it hurts in our soul._

_Yep, now I need some wine._

_While you decide if you want to broach the job question I'll pose a question. Favorite quote? Mine is from HG Wells (the real one, the one whose books I read as a child. I always really liked The Time Machine, although I believe that I got something slightly different from it than other people). But, the quote. "We all have our time machines, don't we. Those that take us back are memories... And those that carry us forward, are dreams."_

_It's a bit saccharine, but, I've mellowed since I had kids._

_~HLM_

Kim sat back in her desk chair and studied the laptop's screen. Her eyes went to the icon by HLM's screen name. It was a check mark. She was online.

Before Kim could think better of it she clicked on the check mark and an instant messaging looking box popped up on her screen. She typed.

_ **Chicagoan768111: Hi** _

_H_LsMom: Oh, hello. I didn't know that the site had a messaging feature._

_ **Chicagoan768111: Yep. So. You were married?** _

_H_LsMom: Twice actually, but only one was legally binding, and to a man. I divorced him. Have you ever been married? Or in a long term committed relationship?_

_ **Chicagoan768111: Nope. I guess I** _

_ **Chicagoan768111: I think that I never wanted to feel the hurt that I saw my father go through when my mother died. Oops, there I go again.** _

_H_LsMom: Do you have another topic in mind?_

_ **Chicagoan768111: I'm curious. What did you get from reading The Time Machine?** _

_H_LsMom: That even though I wasn't perfect, I had a place in the world. I was probably a bit too much of a fan of the Morlocks than I should have been. But, I was also ten, so..._

_ **Chicagoan768111: Quite the nerd?** _

_H_LsMom: I believe the technical term is introvert._

Kim laughed.

oOOOOo

Kerry had seen the box pop up and who it was an had almost ignored it, but, Henry was in his room, it was his turn to have Roger over for a sleepover, and Leonora sat on the floor all her attention on the movie Wall-E.

She typed in.

_H_LsMom: I believe the technical term is introvert._

_ **Chicagoan768111: I bow to the nerd. I was never one of those.** _

_H_LsMom: Really?_

_ **Chicagoan768111: No. I liked cars, motorcycles, sports, and dresses. No one in the neighborhood would have believed that my father could get any stain out of any fabric, from silk to velvet. And boy did he ever use that skill.** _

_H_LsMom: Oh, so, greasy engines, dirty fields and dresses make for a mess?_

_ **Chicagoan768111: Heh, are they ever. How about you, sports, I bet you play Fantasy Baseball and kick butt huh?** _

_H_LsMom: I don't actually. My education in sports started when I met my wife. Since then her little brother has helped me enough that I can sort of keep up with my son's interests. I'm really hoping that my daughter is a bit of a girly girl just so that I don't have to learn new sports._

_ **Chicagoan768111: Oh, who are you kidding, I bet you'd do it in a heartbeat.** _

_H_LsMom: …_

_ **Chicagoan768111: Sorry, I** _

_H_LsMom: No, you're right. Lacrosse, Baseball, Softball, Soccer, Football, anything she wanted to play I would figure out. Cricket, Rugby. I'm really hoping not Football or Rugby._

_ **Chicagoan768111: How 'bout Hockey? Fray the nerves a bit I'd think?** _

_H_LsMom: My nerves are steel._

_ **Chicagoan768111: Pretty too?** _

_H_LsMom: Funny. My son plays Hockey, goalie, and so, while I'd rather she never play Hockey, I think I could take it._

_ **Chicagoan768111: Is your son rooting for one of the remaining teams in the Stanley Cup Playoffs?** _

_H_LsMom: Trolling for where I live huh?_

_ **Chicagoan768111: Who, me?** _

_H_LsMom: I could throw you off and say, go Boston Bruins._

_ **Chicagoan768111: Not the Penguins?** _

_H_LsMom: Nope. I think I like the Bruins' color scheme better._

_ **Chicagoan768111: …** _

_ **Chicagoan768111: Okay, I see what you did there. Funny. Should be a good couple of serieses. They're the last four teams who've won it all. Penguins, Blackhawks, Bruins, Kings. And two of them are original six teams as well.** _

_H_LsMom: Which two?_

_ **Chicagoan768111: Are you mining me for information?** _

_H_LsMom: I am, yes._

_ **Chicagoan768111: Just wanted to make sure. The original six who played from 42 to 67 were the Detroit Red Wings, Boston Bruins, Montreal Canadiens, Chicago Blackhawks, Toronto Maple Leafs and New York Rangers. And, the Penguins and the Kings were both part of the first expansion in 67. Is that enough info to dazzle your son with?** _

_H_LsMom: I think it is. Although, my guess is that he already knows it._

Kerry's eyes went away from the messaging box as her email popped up with an email that was marked as super urgent. She glanced up at the movie and realized that it too was nearly over.

_H_LsMom: I need to go. My daughter's almost done with her movie_

_ **Chicagoan768111: Okay. I'll message you with my favorite quote at some point. I'm not sure exactly what it is yet though.** _

_H_LsMom: Ah, then we'll... 'talk' then I guess. Good-bye._

_ **Chicagoan768111: Bye.** _

Kerry closed the messaging screen and logged off. Logging into her email she was surprised by who the email was from. Janet Coburn.

With one eye on Leonora she opened it. The subject was simply, 'Open Me'. Kerry wondered if Janet's account had been hacked or she had some sort of virus on her computer. Kerry hadn't heard from Janet since they'd emailed back and forth a bit after Janet had been hired as the new Chief of Staff at County.

Kerry's mouth dropped as she read the body of the email:

Kerry, I have a job here for you. Abby is holding down the fort downstairs for now, but does not want the job. Apparently you didn't teach her your lust for power. So. If you don't want it. Call me. You know the number it was yours after all. Otherwise, well, there's probably some sort of pathology conference down around there at some point, I'll send Judy after you. She says hi. No, that was a lie, she says that you should get your ass up here and back to civilization, and bring your cute as a button children so Auntie Upton can meet them.

Oh, yes. Hope you're well.

Janet

Kerry stared at the screen until Leonora came up to her and put her hand on Kerry's knee. "Mama... okay?"

Kerry blinked, the credits of Wall-E were rolling. "Ah, yes, yes I am. And it's your bedtime sweetie."

Leonora gave a yawn. "Story? One?"

"Sure, which one do you want me to read to you?"

"Alfa Charlie, Alfa Charlie."


	6. Chapter 6

Kerry had waited until a good hour the next morning before she called Janet's number. Her personal one and not the one in the Chief of Staff's office. "Are you crazy Janet."

"Hello Kerry. And, no."

"I can't."

Janet paused on the other end of the phone, "I watched clips of the last couple of your reports. How long did we work together Kerry. I can tell that your heart's not in it. What happened to Courtney anyway, your producer now is substandard."

"She fell in love."

Janet made a hissing sound, "Ooh, I take it not with you?"

"No."

"Soo... don't come up now. Wait until Henry's out of school for the summer, then head on up here. Get the lay of the land and then... make a new crop of Interns the best doctors they can be."

Kerry sighed, "Janet."

Janet interrupted Kerry. "I'm not taking no for an answer. Judy... what are you..."

The gravely voice of Judith Upton came onto the phone, "She won't tell you, so I will. Rachel Greene. That name mean anything to you Kerry?"

"Judy, what's your point."

"She's an Intern, in your ER, in Janet's hospital. Are you really going to let Archie Morris and Tony Gates be that young woman's only..."

Kerry interrupted Upton, "Abby, didn't I hear that Julia Wise is the Chief Resident this year? Abby said great things about her. And there are so many other doctors, great doctors there..."

"She'll give you a raise."

Kerry could hear a 'hey, wait a second'. In the background and found herself smiling. "Give me back to your better half."

"Hey now."

And Kerry heard Janet take back the phone, "What is that rapscallion offering you."

Kerry shook her head, "Nothing. Here's the deal. You don't leave. Somehow I'll figure out how to get me and my family up there before July... but, if I'm going to work for you again then you have to be there. When I retire you get to..."

"Kerry..."

"I won't deal with another Rocket Romano power monger like person in that position Janet."

Janet was silent for a moment, "Or... I find someone who isn't an idiot and a jerk to take over."

Kerry sighed, "Janet, do I even get time to think about it?"

Janet bantered back, "I think that you'd already made up your mind. Before you finished reading my note. Before you went to bed last night, woke up this morning. Before you called me today. Because that's who you are. So..."

Kerry sighed again, "Okay. Okay."

"Ah, you do need to come to an interview with the rest of the department heads. Trust me when I say, it's a formality. I may not be you, but I get my way as Chief of Staff." Kerry was silent for so long that Janet spoke again, "Kerry. I'm not doing this because we're friends. I was there in the ER's heyday. You at your best is... nothing compares."

"Is Don still on the board?"

"He is."

Kerry closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her contacts were starting to drive her crazy. She held the phone with her shoulder as she took them out. "Just to warn you, I'm going to call him."

"He knows I was going to ask you."

Kerry smiled, "Still going to call him." Kerry's phone beeped and she took it away from her ear and looked down at it. She frowned, it was Eduardo Lopez. And he never called Kerry unless he had to. "Ah, I have to go Janet. Email some dates for the interview."

She hung up halfway through Janet's good-bye as she picked up Eduardo's call. "Eddie. What is it?"

"Mother... Florina had a heart attack."

Kerry took a cleansing breath and prepared herself, "Is she okay?"

"She is... I just. I wanted to let you know. And wondered..."

Kerry spoke over Eduardo, "We're not coming up there for vacation this year."

He cut her off right back, "Kerry, you know that isn't fair, to him, or to us, and..."

"Will you be silent?" He stayed silent, "Unless something goes horribly wrong. We'll... we'll be moving back up there soon. That's- why we won't be up for vacation."

"Oh."

Kerry sighed under her breath, "I'm glad that Florina is alright."

"I- I'm glad that you'll be coming ho... coming back."

Kerry smiled to herself, "Yes. I think that Henry will be glad as well. I have to go. See you soon."

"You as well Kerry."

Kerry shook her head as she hung up. "What did I just get myself back into?"

oOOOOo

The bell on the door rang and Roberta looked up. "Hello young man, how may I help you?"

"Ah... my Mom's car's here and I guess I need to pay for it, take it home."

Kim's head poked out of the garage area into the office. "Mrs. Lopez? Is she okay?"

The young man nodded, "Yeah, thanks for taking her to County. Saved her life. Oh, I'm Carlos... Lopez I mean." He stared at Kim for longer than he should. "I recognize you from somewhere. You ever dated a guy named Manuel Lopez?"

Roberta let out a snort of laughter and got a narrowed eyed look from Kim. "No. I'm a lesbian."

Without missing a beat Carlos changed his question, "'kay, how about an Elena. Although, I'd seriously have to have a talk with my sister if she didn't tell me that she went out with a woman."

"An Elena, yes, an Elena Lopez, no."

"Huh." Carlos bit the inside of his lip, then shook his head. "Well, it'll either come to me, or it won't. So, how much do I owe you."

Kim looked over at Roberta, who answered, "Two Ninety Five."

Carlos glanced between the older and younger woman, "Really?"

Kim nodded, "It was just the CV joint that went bad. That going bad was probably what caused Mrs. Lopez to hit the pothole and pop the tire. The rim was fine so I replaced the joint and the tire, you're going to want to have them do a tire rotation the next time she gets new tires."

"I just... I feel like that's not enough. I don't know what my father would have done without her."

Kim smiled sadly, "Father's have a greater capacity for losing their wives than we give them credit for I think. The car is just outside, parked. Pay the grumpy old woman." It was Roberta's turn to shoot Kim a look, "And she'll give you the keys. If you ever need a car fixed, I'll be here."

Carlos nodded, "Or if I remember where I've seen you before?"

oOOOOo

"Henry."

"Mama."

Kerry smiled, "So, I have bad news and good news."

Henry gave a purposeful nod, "Bad news first."

Kerry took Henry's book bag from him and hung it on its hook. "I'm going to have to go away for a day at least, maybe two. You and Lee will have to stay with Mike, Sully and Roger."

Henry frowned, "That's not bad news..."

Kerry crossed her arms over her chest, "It's not bad news that I won't be here. You won't miss me at all?"

Henry made an 'oops' face and put a hand to his heart, "It's horrible, horrible, horrible news Mama. I will miss you and miss you and miss you and..."

Kerry ruffled Henry's hair, "Shush, or don't you want the good news?"

Henry smirked his most cheeky smirk, "Lee's getting a pony."

"Henry Guillermo Lopez Weaver."

He pulled a serious face, "Okay."

"I'm 99% sure that... we're moving home."

Henry seemed to burst off his feet and into Kerry's arms. He was so forceful that he knocked both of them over and they slapped to a stop on the entry carpet. He froze, a look of terror chasing off the look of pure joy that had been on his face. "Mama? Are you okay?"

She smiled and leaned up, kissing Henry's forehead. "You're not as light as you used to be kiddo. But, I'm okay."

Henry rolled off Kerry and they both lay there staring up at the ceiling. "That's why you have to go somewhere for a few days?"

"It is. You'll take good care of your sister?"

"Duh." Kerry gave Henry a look, "Sorry. Yes. I will. Did I... I mean..."

Kerry stood up and helped Henry up, "I love you Henry, but, I didn't do this just because of you."

Henry nodded and patted Kerry on the hand that he held in his, "It's okay if you're homesick too Mama."

Kerry gave him a gentle swat on the behind, "Go, go put away your school things."

"Love you Mama."

Kerry rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, say that after you have to help me pack up everything in this place."


	7. Chapter 7

** _HLM,_ **

** _I know it's been a few days, life got in the way. Okay, that's a lie, I just couldn't find the quote I had remembered. But, I finally did, so, here we go._ **

** _"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Theodor Geisel. Yep, I went to Dr. Seuss. I apologize for that, but, I do believe it. Or, I try to believe it. I'm not sure that it's humanly possible to not have regrets, and regrets, I have a few... sorry. Although, if it helps, I now need to go find my copy of Nina Simone singing that song..._ **

** _Jobs. I'm a mechanic. I fix cars, motorcycles. It's what my father did and when I get done, the car is fixed. Maybe it'll break again, but, there's always something I can do for it, some way to make it work again. It might be expensive, but, there's always an answer. You?_ **

** _My Blackhawks won (Yep, they're mine, all mine... well, except for Seabrook, I'll share him with the rest of the fans...) and are up two to oh... but, now that I've put that out in the world I have no doubt jinxed it all. Did my info help you wow your son?_ **

** _I'll log off for now. Go work on my pet project, a classic Knucklehead motorcycle. It's nearly done, and just in time too..._ **

** _~Ms. Turing_ **

Kerry blinked in surprise. Kim wasn't a practicing Doctor anymore? She opened another tab and did a quick search for the blonde. The results confirming what Kim had said in the email. "What happened to you Kim?"

Kerry started a response.

_Ms. Turing_

_I did hear that the Blackhawks won. And my son was not impressed by the facts, but, that's probably because I believe that he's at the age where I could cure cancer and he'd give me a shoulder shrug and say something along the lines of, 'okay, whatever'. As for what I do. I... just got a new job, at least, I think I have. I was, and I will be again, a Doctor. I've kept my hand in for years, but, I'm not entirely sure what will happen when I am again doing it on a regular basis._

_And... a Motorcycle? Donorcycle is more like it. Illinois may be a state where you don't need a helmet, but, you'd better be wearing one._

"Mama?" Henry came up and slid onto the couch next to Kerry, knocking into the red head's arm and causing her to hit the enter button.

Kerry winced, thinking for a second over what she should do, then simply let it go and looked over at her son, "Hey, it's late. Are you okay?"

Henry sniffed just a little and gave a tentative nod. "I just..."

"You had the nightmare." Henry nodded, "Because I'm going up to Chicago tomorrow?" He nodded again. "Well, I'm going to be up for another hour and a half. Want to watch a movie? Maybe you'll be so tired that you won't have any dreams?"

Henry looked at his mother as if she had sprouted wings and devil horns. "Really?" Kerry shot him a look and he reached for the remote control. "Sorry. You only say what you mean. Um... can we watch Monsters, Inc. There's gonna be another you know. They're in college or something..."

Kerry studied her son, "Of course. What made you pick that movie?"

Henry shrugged, "It's sorta about nightmares, and maybe..."

"Right." Kerry took the remote from Henry, turned on the TV and went about ordering the movie. Henry, right on cue, rolled his eyes when Kerry turned the remote away when she put in the purchase control pin number.

"Mama, it's Grandma Weaver's birthday, one, six, nineteen."

"Henry..."

Henry shrugged, "I wouldn't use it Mama, duh."

"Oh." She paused, "Henry... I... I apologize for thinking you would use it."

Henry shrugged again, "Okay. I mean, Roger would totally use it if he knew his Dads' number, but they do the hidey thing too. I... Roger was all bummed that I was leaving. But, I... I'm excited." He looked up at his mother, "Is that bad?"

"Not at all Henry. You've had a life in both places. No matter where you are, you'll miss someone. I'll miss Mike and Sullivan too. So, are we going to watch this. Have you seen it before?" Henry nodded, "Well, don't spoil it for me, I've never seen it before."

As the title credits started running, a jazzy little song, Kerry went back to the dating site and wrote a quick message.

_Oops, sorry about that. A tragic elbow bumping incident. It's a little late night movie viewing with my son._

_~HLM_

oOOOOo

Kim was just about to log off when two messages popped into the site's inbox. She read them and sat back in her chair. She wasn't sure how HLM would react to her job. Some people in her life had disappeared when she became one, while others had understood. Of course, she had no intention of sharing the fact that she too had been a Doctor at one point. But, then again, when would she ever see this woman. Maybe she should have laid it all out, maybe, as a fellow Doctor HLM would understand.

She smiled at the helmet comment, and then at the second message. She wondered if HLM or her son had picked the movie.

_ **HLM,** _

_ **Soon you will know the greatness that is Monsters, Inc. As for the helmet, I do wear one when I ride, which I haven't had a chance to do in a while, but, the Knucklehead is not for me, but for my younger brother Calvin. My youngest brother Julian and Calvin's two boys came to me with an idea. Julian had bought the beaten up old Knucklehead and the boys thought that their cool and very talented Aunt could fix it up. It's been harder than I thought it would be, but, also, relaxing. So, on father's day, Calvin's wife is going to blow a gasket and Calvin's gonna love it.** _

_ **From what you said I assume that you have some sort of interview soon, so, good luck with that. Switching jobs at the moment. I think you're probably filled with gutsiness huh.** _

_ **Well. I'm off to bed. Dreaming of crank shafts and cam gears.**_

_ **~Ms. Turing**_


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: I apologize profusely for how long it took to get this next part to y'all. Life and work has gotten in the way. But, I do know where it's going, I just haven't gotten there yet.

oOOOOo

Kerry sat in the airport, her laptop open in front of her, on, but untouched. She nearly jumped when it made a noise and the little notification popped up that someone wanted to talk to her over Skype. She frowned and opened it up. Her daughter's face stared back at each other, Kerry smiled back as Leonora spoke, "Hi Mama!"

Then Kerry realized that there didn't seem to be anyone else anywhere around her. She raised her voice just a little bit, "Sullivan..."

It wasn't Sullivan who appeared, but Henry. "Sorry Mama, sorry, Mama..."

Kerry still frowned, "It's not your fault Henry, where is Sullivan?"

After a few moments Sullivan also crowded into the picture. "I apologize for that Kerry. You have a slippery one here, I think one day she'll probably be a secret agent, hackin' places and sneaking into them too. Back to nap time little Lee..."

That left Henry in front of the computer. "Mama, you look sad."

Kerry smiled, "Just missing you Henry. Go help Sullivan get Lee to actually go to sleep, 'kay?"

Henry made a face, "I hafta sing the song 'cause you're not here?"

Kerry chuckled, "You'll do a great job Henry. Do you really want Sullivan to do it?" Henry made a face, "I thought so. I love you Henry. And your sister."

"Love you too Mama."

The screen winked off and Kerry sighed. She nearly jumped when a male voice spoke, "Is this seat taken?"

She looked up, "Ah, no..."

The young man had a mess of curly bright red hair, a bunch of freckles over his nose, and a smile on his face. "I'm Bob, Bob Nelson. I think... I think I know you from somewhere."

Kerry gave her best 'go away' smile, "I don't believe so Mr. Nelson."

Bob sat down and narrowed his eyes, being silent for a long moment. Before either Kerry or Bob could say anything though they were interrupted by a woman with slightly darker red hair. "Bobby, are you freaking out the wo... Kerry."

Kerry was doubly confused. She was pretty sure that she had no clue who the newcomers were, and yet, they seemed to know her. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."

The woman held out a hand, "Bridget, Bridget Nelson, well... it used to be Bridget Williams. And while my mom was also a Williams for a while, before that she was..."

"Kingsley. You're..."

Bridget gave a sheepish smile, "Yep. Your half sister."

oOOOOo

"Will you turn that racket down Kimberly." Kim did so as Roberta came into the garage. "Is that the Requiem?" Kim shrugged, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Roberta came all the way into the garage and took the tool from Kim's hand. She became even more worried when Kim didn't try to stop her. "Something is wrong."

"No. I'm fine."

Roberta pulled Kim to her feet. "Early lunch."

"Roberta, I can't just..."

The older woman pulled Kim away from the car and into the office. "Yes. You're coming with me."

oOOOOo

Kerry sat in her seat on the plane and stared straight ahead. The flight attendant stopped by her. "Ma'am? Do you need anything?"

Kerry shook her head, "No... no thank you."

The flight attendant gave her a smile, "Just wanted to make sure. You seemed overwhelmed."

Kerry sighed, "It always seems as though once I get on solid footing someone pulls the rug out from under me."

"Well, I hope you find your footing again."

Kerry leaned her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes.

_ After Bridget had dropped the bomb Kerry had sat there, stunned. "I- your mother didn't tell me your name... you and your brother's names." _

_ Bridget smiled. And Kerry's first thought was that it was the exact same smile that Helen had. "I'm Bridget, my brother's Peter... Peter Jr. after our father." _

_ "Are you..." _

_ Bob interrupted Kerry, "We're going home. Isn't that crazy. I'm from Chicago originally and Bridget's pregnant so we visited my Mom here and are going home." He paused, "And you really do remind me of someone." _

_ Bridget put a hand on Bob's shoulder and he fell silent. "Sorry- you're overwhelming her Bob. Are you flying home?" _

_ "Ah... no. I have an interview." _

_ "That's good. How are Sandy and Henry?" _

_ "Ah..." Kerry frowned, "Your mother told you about them?" _

_ Bianca winced, "Oh man. She ranted and ranted and prayed and..." at Kerry's look Bridget held up both hands. "I love my Mom, but I don't agree with her in this case. and I told her that she should stop being a stubborn ass and apologize to you." Bridget paused, "Is that why you're calling her- my mother- and not ours?" _

_ "Henry is doing great. Sandy... she died nine years ago. As for my mother. Leonora Weaver was my mother. My father was Henry Weaver. They didn't have to love me, they chose to, even after they weren't presented with a whole baby, but me with my disability. They never blinked, and, I will never know for sure, but I think me loving women wouldn't have made them love me less either." _

_ That caused the conversation to ground to an uncomfortable halt and soon after their flight was called. _

oOOOOo

They sat in the church. Neither speaking. It was finally Roberta who broke the silence. "You don't wear your cross anymore."

"God doesn't exist."

Roberta stared at Kim for a long minute, "Kimberly, you know..."

"Nothing. I know nothing Roberta. Nothing. I'm a damn psych doc who can't fucking get herself out of her own damn hole." She turned towards Roberta, "Do you think I want to be like this, stuck wherever the hell I'm stuck- I just can't- I... I..." Kim put her head in her hands, "I miss them all- so damn much Robbie."

"Oh, honey..." she wrapped her arms around Kim and they sat there as Kim let it all out.

oOOOOo

"Do you have somewhere to stay?"

Kerry smiled, "The airport. I'm going right back."

Janet frowned, "Kerry-"

Kerry held a hand up, "My kids are still there, that's why I'm going right back, but I'm also not changing my mind." She paused, "If I've passed muster."

Janet smiled, "Oh... they're all more worried that I'll feel threatened with you here."

Kerry shook her head, "No. I'm- not her anymore. Lee, Henry, friends and keeping County a great ER. Those are my goals."

Janet put an arm around Kerry, "What about love Kerry?"

Kerry narrowed her eyes at Janet, "Don't even think about it Coburn. No set ups. I love LEe. I love Henry. So I'm going home to them. Give me a call with the details and we'll see when I can start. And, say hello to Judy for me."

Janet opened her mouth, then smiled and nodded. "Bypassing the ER?"

Kerry nodded. "For now, yes. Thank you Janet." She held out her hand. Janet took a hold of it and pulled Kerry in for a hug. "Have a safe flight."

oOOOOo

Kim sat in front of her laptop, spreadsheets open willy nilly. Her phone rang. "Hello."

"Is it ready?"

"It is. You can pick it up anytime tomorrow. Roberta will let you in if I'm not here."

Julian Legaspi paused, "You okay sis?"

Kim cleared her throat, "Yep. I'm good. Have fun at the party."

"Kimmy... you're invited too. You know that. Jon and Matt would love to see their cool Aunt there. I'm just their boring Uncle."

Kim closed her eyes, "I'll see them soon. Love ya Julian."

"Ah, yeah, love you too Sis."

Kim hung up, opened her browser and started typing.

oOOOOo

Kerry was home. Leonora and Henry were tucked in. She relaxed on the couch and finally focused on her computer screen.

The new message icon had appeared. Kerry clicked on it and frowned. She hadn't responded to Kim, she'd been too busy, so she wondered what Kim had to say.

_ **Dear HLM,** _

_ **I'm sorry if I led you on or anything along those lines. I need to get my head on straight, so to speak. I wish you well in life and love.** _

_ **~Ms. Turing** _

_ **P.S. For the record, my first name is Kimberly. After my maternal grandfather.** _

Kerry frowned and opened Skype. She clicked on one of her contacts, a recently re-installed contact. She blinked as David Malucci popped onto the screen. "Hey soon to be boss."

Kerry considered her answer for a brief second, "I see that the grapevine is still robust."

Dave gave a nod, "Yep. I assume you want to talk to the temp. boss?" He paused, "You have any clue why she passed on the job?"

"I don't... David?"

Dave looked away from the camera, "Hey... Lockhart. See you soon Ch.. Doctor Weaver."

Dave started to step away, but Kerry's voice brought him back into camera range. "David. When I start as the Chief I'd like to have a little... chat."

"Ah..."

Kerry put a finger up, "Not now. When I'm there."

The smile was off Dave's face, "Of course-" He paused and a small smirk came back, "I think I see a UTI I should go tend to."

After a moment Abby appeared. "Kerry. What's up?"

"I need you to check on Kim. Please."

Abby frowned, "Why?"

"Abby."

"Kerry."

"I'm- worried. Please don't ask me why Abby. When I..."

Abby cut Kerry off, "Okay, okay. I will. Are you doin' okay? I didn't see you when you were up here."

Kerry smiled, "Soon you'll see more than you want of me Abigail."

"True, true. I'll email you what I find out."

"Thank you Abby."

Abby smirked, "You'll owe me. Talk to you later."


	9. Chapter 9

"Mama, they're losing."

Kerry gave Henry a one armed hug, then went back to packing the books in a box. They had so many books. So many books, and, the so many that were left were after she and Henry, with a little help from Leonora had gone through them all and gotten rid of a good portion of them. "Sometimes we lose. Personally, or the teams we root for. There's always next season..."

Henry sighed, then smiled, "But, they haven't lost yet."

"Nope, they haven't." Kerry's computer dinged, "Keep packing young man."

Henry rolled his eyes, "Duh Mama, of course I will. I totally want to go home."

Kerry smiled as she moved her mouse and Abby's face came up on the computer. "Abby. What's wrong?"

Abby shook her head, "Nothing. Kim's fine. I spoke to a lady named Roberta. I guess that Kim left town for a bit. Visiting college friends in Boston and New York. Kerry."

Kerry shook her head, "It was... just a feeling. A bad feeling, but thank you for checking."

"Of course. Looks like packing is going well."

Henry spoke up from his box of books, "I'm helping. Leonora isn't..."

Kerry smiled as Abby laughed at Henry interjection, "Give Joe our best."

"I will. See you soon Kerry."

Henry came up to Kerry, "Mama."

"Son."

Henry hugged Kerry around the waist. "I love you."

Kerry smiled and hugged him back, "Let's take a break. Get your sister. We'll go get some ice cream."

Henry started towards his sister's room, then turned back towards Kerry, "If I say I really, really love you then may I have sprinkles?"

Kerry narrowed her eyes at him, "You think you're funny huh..."

"Heeee-larious is what Uncle Carlos calls me. I'll get Lee."

Kerry closed the laptop and put a hand to her forehead, "She's not your problem Kerry Weaver. You have enough on your plate without her. Leave her be..." A yell of happiness came from Leonora's bedroom and Kerry smiled to herself, "Count my blessings and be happy. Last time she threw you into the tornado... Stay in the basement this time Kerry."

Leonora came rushing into the living room, her hair mussed with a big smile on her face, "Mama, ice cream?"


	10. Chapter 10

Kerry hadn't thought that she could have done it. Moved in the time that they managed to move from Miami to Chicago, but they had. Henry had been a big help, and even Leonora had pitched in quite admirably packing her things very carefully and better than even Kerry could have done it.

Henry was on cloud nine, Carlos had picked he and Leonora up for a day of doing something, although Kerry was fuzzy on the details. But, if there was one other person on this Earth that Kerry trusted with her children that was Carlos Lopez.

And, so there Kerry was, back in the ER of County General Chicago. It was like she'd never left. The Doctors, Nurses, Physician Assistants, Clerks were all doing the same things they always had. Even the patients were the same, even if they had different names. Kerry wasn't sure if the fact that the ER still felt like home to her was a good thing or a bad thing.

A throat cleared behind her and she turned, "Doctor Weaver, you wanted to see me?"

"Follow me."

Dave Malucci frowned, but did. They went down to the basement and Kerry opened the door of a closet, "Ah, I think that everybody saw us leave together, so you can't kill me. Well, okay, maybe you could, but I'd rather you not."

Kerry gave Dave a look, "The wall David."

"Oh... the names, right... ah..."

Kerry turned her back to the wall. "It doesn't matter what you call me, it never has. It matters if you respect me, and if you respect the job."

Dave nodded, "I do, I do Doctor Weaver."

She stared at him for a moment, then turned back to the wall. She took off the Malucci, Lockhart and Weaver names and handed them to Dave. "This is a wall for those who aren't here, for whatever reason."

"I... how did I get on there. I mean, there are the ones that died, like Knight and Pratt, Greene and Romano, and some of them went away, but I..."

Kerry thought about her answer for a moment, whether or not to tell the truth. "I put it up there."

Dave frowned as he ran his finger along the bumps of his name. "Why on Earth did you do that?"

"Make no mistake, you were wrong in many ways that day, and the days before. You were careening out of control David."

Dave sighed, "I know."

Kerry put a hand on his shoulder and waited until he looked up at her, "But, I should have been there for you. I was careening out of control then too."

Dave smirked, "Yeah, much quieter though. I truly am sorry for calling you a Nazi... uh, and the other thing."

Kerry glanced back up at the wall for a moment, "Hey, you had the cojones to say it to my face. That's more than I can say for some of these names up here."

"Chief... Doctor Weaver... a favor?" Kerry raised an eyebrow, "Yeah, never say cojones in my presence again please?"

Kerry was silent for a moment, making Dave wonder if he'd gone to far, then, to his utter surprise, she chuckled.

Dave regarded the names too, "What about Greene?"

Kerry studied the name that was right below Chen's and above Romano's. "Rachel deserves a new start. Maybe one day when she moves onto a bigger and better hospital, or when she retires from this one she'll put her name up here, next to her father's. For now..." She looked pointedly at Dave, "Everyone gets a new start with me."

"Everyone?"

Kerry left the closet and closed the door, "Yes. I'm even giving my mother-in-law and brother-in-laws new starts. Don't you screw up yours Doctor Malucci."

oOOOOo

"Do you need professional help?" Kim got no answer, "I know you're there Abby. What do you want?"

"You're back."

"I'm back. Abby... really, I'm busy, what do you want?"

Abby threw her hands to her sides, "A steady man in my life who isn't an ass, maybe a million dollars... would you like me to go on?"

Kim sighed and wiped her hands off, "Please don't." She led Abby to the back of the garage. "Who're you reporting back to?"

Abby didn't miss a beat, "Janet Coburn."

"I'm not coming back."

"Noted. Are you okay?"

"Fine."

"You just disappeared Kim."

Kim crossed her arms over her chest. "So. Last I checked I'm an adult. I finished my brother's present, the Knucklehead. I had no emergencies here. So, I left, and for the record, the three people in my life who matter knew exactly where I was."

They stood there, silent until the door to the office opened. "Kim... oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you had company."

A young woman with dark wavy hair that was back in a ponytail stepped into the garage she she saw Kim's face. She wore a button down shirt with a familiar bulge hidden under her blazer, and she had a Chicago Police Department badge clipped to her waist.

Kim shook her head, "Abby was just leaving. Please, Abby, just leave me alone. I'm not a child."

Abby looked as though she wanted to say something else, but instead she nodded and left via the door to the street. The police detective glanced after her, then back to Kim, "Ex?"

Kim sighed as she shook her head, "No. She's... complicated to explain. What can I do for you Teresa?"

Teresa Ortiz smiled and took ahold of Kim's arm, "My mission if I chose to accept it is to get you to have some fun."

"Kate sent you." Kim shook her head, "You two just need to get together."

Teresa threaded her arm through Kim's and pulled her towards the door. "She won't even try because she thinks we're perfect together Kim."

"Teresa- will you just ask her out? Go live happily ever after, so that someone I know is happy."

Teresa smiled, "First, we do lunch..."

oOOOOo

Kerry stood in Trauma 2, just to one side of the door that connected it to Trauma 1 and listened. She'd seen Abby come in a few minutes earlier, but then lost track of her. It appeared that Kerry had found her again.

"I have to tell her Abs. Hell, you should tell her, you're her friend, but, if you don't, I will. I'm on thin ice with her anyway, I can feel it." Dave fell silent for a moment, then groaned. "Maybe I should just..."

Abby cut him off, "No. You're not quitting. You've worked so hard for this Dave, gotten yourself back her, but I just don't think that... I mean-"

Kerry heard a rustle of clothing and a sigh from Dave. "You think she, your good friend, won't approve of me, of us. Yeah, I get it... I-"

The rest of Dave's words were cut off again and Kerry winced as she was pretty sure that Abby had kissed Dave silent and that she didn't want to witness. If she hadn't needed something in Trauma 1 she would have backed out of Trauma 2 already. She was about to leave anyway when Haleh stuck her head in. Kerry put a finger to her lips and left the room through the door Haleh held open. "Incoming traumas. Bus versus Semi."

Kerry sighed, "School?"

Haleh gave a short nod back, "School." Kerry started down the hall, but turned at Haleh's voice, "Are you ready Kerry?"

"As I'll ever be. What does that weird man with an abundance of hair say on that surgery show? Today is a good day to save some lives."

Haleh chuckled, "You watch Grey's Kerry?"

Kerry made a face, "Once, and it was a mistake. I was looking for one of the news magazine shows. It was something about one of the Doctors cutting of her wife's leg? No thank you. Not for me." As they exited the room and went by Trauma 1 Kerry whacked open the door a bit and barked, "Incoming traumas."

Both Dave and Abby jumped and Kerry had to keep walking towards the Ambulance bay so they wouldn't see the smirk that appeared on her lips. She might have some fun with those two.

Kerry was just through the doors that separated chairs from the rest of the ER when Abby caught up with her. At the same time, seeing a doctor, one of the older men in chairs stood and got in Kerry's way, "Doctor, my earwax itches..."

Abby put an arm around Kerry's shoulders as she just barely held in her laughter, "Welcome back Kerry."


	11. Chapter 11

"Mama- you need to get a girlfriend."

Kerry winced. The last time that Henry had gone there they'd been alone. This time, Carlos smirked and a small chuckle escaped his lips. Kerry shot him a look. "Or... I could just marry your Uncle Carlos..."

Henry's face contorted into a face that made him look as though he'd just eaten a particularly sour blueberry. "Maammaa... eww..."

Carlos looked a bit put out. "Hey now. I am a catch I'll have you know pipsqueak."

Leonora didn't like that. "No. I'm pipsqueak."

Carlos ruffled Leonora's hair, "Sorry pipsqueak. Your brother can be kiddo. That sound better?" She smiled and held her hand up towards Carlos. He did pick her up and she squealed. "You're my only pipsqueak. Wanna go watch some baseball?" She nodded and snuggled into Carlos' shoulder, "Henry?"

Henry nodded. "Okay. Sure." He glanced back at Kerry, then followed Carlos into the living room. Kerry pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. She checked on the chicken in the oven, and then went back to the box that had been packed in such haste that she really had no idea what was in it.

She whistled as she did it, as she got near the bottom she realized that she must have simply dumped one of her desk drawers into the box.

Kerry nearly jumped out of her skin as Carlos spoke from right next to her ear, she had not heard him come into the kitchen, "Oh my God, she's the blonde. She's the blonde that you have a picture of."

Kerry frowned, "Carlos, what are... what the hell are you talking about?"

Carlos picked the unframed picture up out of the box. "This woman. Something with a K..."

"Kim... Kim Legaspi."

Carlos snapped, "Right. Legaspi's Garage. She saved Mama."

"Florina?"

Carlos tilted his head to one side, a bit of his bangs flopping over one of his eyes, "Well, I only have one Mom... yes Florina. Something happened to her car outside the garage, Legaspi helped her, and then Mama had a heart attack and she... she knew that it was happening even though Mama said that symptoms weren't like when Pops had his, and saved her life."

"She... she was a doctor."

Carlos handed Kerry the photo, "Yep, that makes more sense."

"Hey... I don't ask what someone does before I date them."

Carlos chuckled, "I agree, of course, that's helped 'cause, you know, you don't date."

"Carlos Lopez."

"Florian... you'd sound much more like Mama if you knew my middle name. Carlos Florian Lopez."

"After your mother?"

Carlos chuckled, "After the saint. I'm the black sheep remember, the only non-firefighter in the family."

"Ah... right."

"So..."

Kerry frowned, "So what?"

Carlos laughed and put an arm around the woman he thought of as a sister. "So. You're unattached, you liked her once upon a time, she's in Chicago right?"

"Yes."

"So..."

"Carlos..."

Carlos kissed the side of Kerry's head, "Sandy would want you to be as happy as you can. Not just with your two, but with someone to spend the rest of your life with."

Kerry cleared her throat a couple of times. "I... I don't think that would be how Kim and I would end up."

Carlos just barely prevented his eyes from rolling. "Uh huh... but, it's like the lottery. You don't win 'less you buy the ticket right?"

"And where's your wife Mr. Lopez?"

Carlos raised an eyebrow, "You're just so hetero-normative Kerry Weaver."

"No, but I've met a couple of your more serious girlfriends there... player..." Both Kerry and Carlos winced at that. "Ooh, I apologize."

Carlos smiled, "Yep, stick with your uppity, multi-syllabic lingo and I'll do the swearin' and cussin' and such, 'kay?"

Kerry put her arm around Carlos, "I love you Carlos. I know that... Nine years ago I wouldn't have gotten through Sandy's death without you. I... I never had a brother, well, not one that I knew existed, but you..."

Carlos coughed once, then again, "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Ditto. Except sister instead of brother, you know. Have you seen -Helen-." He overdramatized her name as he spoke it. Sandy would do the same thing when she was trying to change subjects, trying to redirect a conversation to lighter topics.

Kerry went with it. "I haven't, but... when I was waiting to come up here for the interview a few weeks back I somehow ran into Bridget Williams. Now Nelson."

"Williams?"

"Daughter of Helen Kingsley, formerly Helen Williams."

Carlos was silent for a bit, "Oh, wow."

"Yes. They live here."

"You've visited her, them?"

Kerry gave a short shake of her head, "No."

"Kerry..."

Kerry shook her head, "Don't start Carlos. I have enough on my plate right now, getting enmeshed in yet another family drama. I can't take it."

Carlos smirked, "The Lopez family drama is enough for you?"

"Something like that, I do... Will you watch Lee and Henry for a little bit, there is one thing that I need to do."

"Of course. I'm not on until tomorrow night. Go crazy."

"Lopez."

Carlos just smirked, "Have fun."

Kerry shook her head with a sigh, "I'm not going for fun."

oOOOOo

"I beg you Mom. Don't do this. Please. I live here now, I want to... please..."

"You were here last time I was."

Abby looked up and blinked in surprise. Standing in front of her was Helen Kingsley and another young woman who looked quite like Helen. "Ah, yes, I think I was Ms. Kingsley, how may I help you?"

"My daughter. I need to see her now."

Abby shook her head, "Doctor Weaver is not on Ms. Kingsley. I'm sorry. She's not on for- awhile. Is there something I can do for you?"

"No. I'll wait."

Abby frowned as Helen went back into chairs and sat down. She turned to the other woman, "Ah, that's..."

The woman stuck a hand out. "Bridget Nelson. Daughter of Helen. Half sister of Kerry."

"Oh. Right. Okay, but, your mother understands..."

Bridget sighed, "Yes, yes she does, and I apologize for her, it's just..." Bridget looked down at the ground with a sigh, "Ah, she just... I... I guess that she's." Bridget stopped talking. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't even be..."

Abby came around the desk and put a hand on Bridget's shoulder, "It's okay. I'm Kerry's friend. There's something wrong with her mother?" Bridget nodded. "Let me guess. Bridget needs a part of Kerry." Bridget nodded again. "Here's what you do. Get her to leave. I'm not lying when I say that Kerry's not going to be here for hours. I'll give Kerry a call, give her a heads up, and you and your mother can come back when she's actually here."

Bridget blew out a breath, "Thank you. You're a good friend."

She went towards chairs and Abby mumbled under her breath, "Kerry, you're soo gonna owe me for that." She took out her phone and found Kerry's cell number.

oOOOOo

"Thank you."

"Gahhhh..." Kim nearly jumped half a foot into the air as she turned and blinked, "Kerry?"

"Thank you."

Kim frowned, "Kerry, what are you? How did you..." Kim narrowed her eyes and shot a glance towards the door to the garage's office, "Roberta..." Kim cleared her throat and turned to face Kerry. "What are you doing here?"

"Standing."

Kim shot Kerry a look. "You damn well know what I mean Kerry. Why are you here?"

Kerry was silent for a moment, "I came to say thank you for saving my mother in law's life."

"Mother in law?"

"Florina Lopez."

Kim threw a hand up, "Yeah. Okay. You've done that. You're welcome."

Kerry studied Kim as the blonde worked on the car that sat with its hood open. "What happened to you Kim?"

Kim didn't look up from the car, just shook her head, "Doesn't matter."

"Please."

Kim cleared her throat, "My father died."

Kerry came closer to Kim and the car, right next to the front windows. "Let me get this right. You survived your mother's death when you were six, your brother's death when you were eleven. And, hell, you witnessed that one. You survived my shredding everything in your life, but your father's death. That makes you quit being a Psychiatrist, something I thought you loved more than almost anything."

Kim stared past Kerry, not even bothering to ask how Kerry knew all that, "You don't know me. You never knew me. Just... leave me be. Let me go."

Kerry put her finger under Kim's chin and made the blonde look her in the eyes. "I did Kim. I had three glorious years with Sandy before she died. I have two amazing children, and, if for the rest of my life all I had was them, I'd be okay. But I want more. Tell me you didn't feel anything. Tell me that, and I'll move on again, I'll go help Henry become the gentleman. He practically already is. Help Lee become a lady, I'll watch as their Uncle Carlos falls in love, has his own family. As Dave and Abby manage to turn their rocky relationship into something lasting. As their kids grow and flourish. I will be content." She paused, "It's you who has to let go Kim."

Kim pulled away from Kerry and went over to her workbench at the back of the garage. She put down her tools and stood there with her back to Kerry for a long moment. Without turning she spoke, "I thought that you were simply here to say thank you."

Kerry joined Kim at the workbench, next to Kim, but facing out towards the rest of the garage, her back against the workbench. "You know. I was. And, I really should get back to Henry and Lee, but, I just..." Kerry trailed off. Kim was staring at her as if the redhead had grown a second head. "What?"

"You're..."

Before Kim could finish her thought the world seemed to turn upside down and inside out. Kerry could see white, and felt heat like she'd never felt before, and then, nothing.


	12. Chapter 12

"And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc, and rhodium, And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin, and sodium. These are the only ones of which the news has come to Harvard, And there may be many others, but they haven't been discarvard."

Carlos laughed as his nephew finished the hilarious song. "You do know that I think now there are more..."

Henry rolled his eyes as he cut off Carlos, "That the song is missing elements one oh three to one eighteen, yeah Uncle Carlos. Duh..."

Carlos shook his head, "Sometimes buddy..." He trailed off, "You've got so much of your mother in you it I'm just astounded kiddo."

Henry frowned, "Mama Sandy?"

Carlos chuckled, "Oh, you've got her too... nope. I'm talking about Mama Kerry in you. 'Cause, I know that none of my family is that smart."

Henry shrugged, "Mama never cared if I was smart or sporty, or whatever."

Carlos ruffled Henry's hair, "I know, but, still..." and gave him a whack on the shoulder, "Quite a bit of her got in there anyway bud."

Henry shrugged, "Whatever."

Carlos smiled to himself.

oOOOOo

"Are they still there?"  
Jerry gave Abby a nod as they both walked out of the Doctor's lounge. "Yep. Still there. Should I remove them?"

Abby sighed and shook her head, "No. Let them be for now."

Morris looked up as Abby and Jerry got to the Admit desk. "Incoming. A plane, a biz jet I think, or something, went down just around the corner."

"Into buildings?"

Morris nodded, "Yep. So far 4 are en route to us. Two major, two minor."

"Trauma rooms?"

"Ready..."

"Where's Greene?"

Rachel spoke up from one side as she jogged up, "Here."

"Stick with Morris. Haleh..."

"Triage with Doctor Morris, what was the reason you didn't want the Chief of the ER position again Doctor Lockhart."

Abby raised her eyebrows, "Because then I couldn't tell you to stuff it Haleh. Where's..."

Doctor Julia Wise, Chief Resident appeared. "Sorry, long l... doesn't matter."

"You're in Trauma two."

Julia nodded, covering up her surprise, "Do we call in the Chief, Dave? Others?"

Abby paused for a moment, then started towards the Trauma rooms, "Jerry, call in both Dave and Kerry, but, hold off on..."

Jerry interrupted Abby, "Dave's on his way, but, I can't reach Kerry..."

"Pratt..."

"Doctor Lockhart?"

"Do you think between you and the interns you can deal with the minor injuries?"

Chaz Pratt nodded his head just a bit too enthusiastically, "Yes ma'... yes Doctor Lockhart."

The sirens got closer and closer, then stopped. After a moment the ER doors banged open and the circus began. Morris yelled after the first two EMTs in, "Trauma one." After a moment another stretcher came rolling in and went towards Trauma 2.

Abby looked up when the first stretcher came into her trauma room and frowned, "Kerry?"

Kerry was on top of the stretcher, pumping at the person on the stretcher's chest. "Who's in Trauma 2?"

"Kerry..."

"Who, Is. In. Trauma 2 Abigail?"

"Ah... Wise, Julia."

Kerry climbed off of the person as the doctors and nurses swarmed towards the stretcher. She nearly fell as she put her full weight on her right leg. She put her hands out towards the nurse who tried to help her, "Stop. Save him, and call neuro for a consult. He was the pilot."

"Where are you..." Abby didn't get an answer as Kerry limped through the doors connecting the two Trauma rooms. Abby spoke to the EMT who was nearly out of the room, "Who the hell is in the next room. Please tell me it's not Henry, or Lee, or Carlos?"

"Ah... a blonde?"

Abby closed her eyes for a half a second, "Oh damn."


	13. Chapter 13

Rachel, Julia and Chaz were splayed across various surfaces in the

Chaz frowned, "Wait, Doctor Weaver, the Chief, the one with the red hair, she's gay?"

Both Julia and Rachel stared at Chaz as if he had three heads, "Chaz, do you have no gaydar at all?"

"Zip, none, nada..."

Rachel and Julia's gazes met, then they both cracked up. Julia gave Chaz a pat on the back, "It's okay Chaz, but, yeah, she's gay. She's been out here, like, what, ten years?"

Rachel nodded and chimed in, "Yeah, my dad went back and forth between thinking it was just the Chief trying to get attention, to being okay with it, to not caring, to ranting, to... well, let's just say he was conflicted about it." She paused, before she asked Chaz or Julia, "Are the two worst going to be okay?" The ER had seen more than four patients because of the plane crash. But it hadn't been as bad as it could have been. Most of the injuries had been minor, and Chaz, Morris and Dave had been jumping while Julia, Abby, and even Kerry worked on the two major traumas.

Julia shook head, "I just... I don't know."

oOOOOo

"Carlos, thank you for dropping them off at your mother's." Kerry stared down at the blonde in the hospital bed, not moving. "Yes. They won't be there overnight, I have to... she's not, we... yes. It won't be overnight, you can tell her that. Love you too Carlos."

"Went back to men already. Figures."

Kerry turned and opened her mouth to speak, but the two women who were with Christy spoke, in unison, first, "Shut up Christy-"

Kerry recognized the blonde with Christy, Kate something or other. She was the one who next spoke, "I know that we're not family, but they're on their way, and Julian sa-"

Kerry held her hand up, "It's okay. Julian?"

The other woman, a dark haired woman who looked somewhat Puerto Rican and somewhat Sicilian was the one who answered. Kerry could also see that she had a badge clipped to the waist of her pants. "Her youngest brother. The brother that's in between Kim and Julian is Calvin, he's married to Tasmin, they have two kids, Jon and Matt, and, all five of them will probably be descending on this room sooner rather than later." She paused, "I'm Teresa by the way. Ortiz."

"Detective?" Teresa nodded, "I'm..."

"Doctor Kerry Weaver. I know."

Kerry raised an eyebrow, "You know?"

Teresa shook her head, "You don't remember do you?"

Kerry studied Teresa for another moment, then shook her head, "No. I don't, I'm sorry."

"Sandy's funeral."

"Oh..."

Christy harumphed, "Can we see her or not... Doctor?"

Kerry nodded, "I'll be in the hallway if you need me."

Christy spoke under her breath, "Trust me, we never did..."

Kerry closed her eyes and leaned against the wall next to the door after she had exited the room. She nearly jumped out of her skin when she realized that Teresa was next to her. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you Doctor Weaver."

"Kerry. You... knew Sandy?"

Teresa shook her head, "Not in the way you're thinking. No. We met at my first Chicago Pride. 2003 or so. I was still in uniform, just moved from LA. We became friends, nothing more. Dating a firefighter is cr..." Teresa winced, "I didn't... I'm..."

Kerry put a hand on Teresa's arm, "No. You're right. Dating, falling in love with, partnering with a firefighter... it is crazy. But, we don't choose who we love, do we?"

"Nope, we don't. Hey, are you okay?"

"Fine."

Teresa looked askance at Kerry, "Hey, red..." Morris turned and pointed at himself, "Yeah, you smart guy, get over here..."

Morris did, "I'll have you know that I am perfectly happy with Claudia..."

Teresa rolled her eyes, "Yeah, I know you and Diaz are an item, I didn't call you over here because of that hot stuff. Your boss here broke something."

Morris frowned, all his attention shifted to Kerry, "What hurts?"

"Nothing Archie, leave it alone, I..."

"Yeah, right. C'mon, there's an open exam room right next door. Chief..."

Kerry took a long deep breath in, and then put an arm around Morris' shoulder. "Fine, but, I really don't think that anything's broken, you see I'm walking."

Morris gave Kerry a look that usually Kerry was giving to patients, "Mmhmmm..."

Teresa smiled at the interaction between the two red heads. She hadn't told Kerry that it wasn't just from the funeral that she knew Kerry. But that soon after Sandy had outed Kerry in the middle of the ER and they had, according to Sandy 'sorta broken up', Sandy had come onto Teresa strong. But, Teresa was having none of it, in addition to having a girlfriend at the time, and so Sandy and Teresa had talked all night. Although, it was more like Sandy ranted on and on and on about Kerry and the County General ER.

Teresa was glad that a lot of the rants that her friend had made about how Kerry and the rest of the ER staff interacted had seemed to have gone away. Morris seemed to like Kerry instead of being scared of her, and Teresa hadn't heard anything through the grapevine recently about Kerry weavering anyone.

She looked up as two men, two boys and a woman came rushing down the hall. Teresa raised a hand and they came towards her. "She's inside guys, and looks like unconscious, or perhaps in a coma, we haven't had a chance to talk to the Doctor about her condition yet. But, she's alive. Kate and Christy are in there with her right now. Let's go see her."

oOOOOo

"You've been walking around on this for two hours Kerry? What were you thinking?"

Dave knocked on the door and came into the exam room, "Whoa... what's up Chief?"

Morris answered before Kerry could, "She has a broken kneecap and has been walking around on it for two hours."

Dave frowned, "A vertical break?"

Kerry held out her hand and Dave helped her down from the bed. "Hairline according to... Doctor... Morris here. Find me a cru- actually, I take that back. Archie- go into my office. In the closet I think there's still a spare crutch. Could you get it?"

"Your office is just- open?" Kerry shot him a look and he held his hands up, "I'm going..."

Kerry looked to Dave, "And why are you here?"

"There's a woman in chairs- Helen and her daughter..."

Kerry finished his sentence, "Bridget. They didn't happen to say what they wanted?" Dave shook his head, "Okay. Bring them back here and David..."

"Yes?"

"Make sure that Archie knows that he should interrupt us."

"Should?"

Kerry nodded, "Definitely should."

Dave gave a faux salute, "Got it Chief."

Kerry stood there, not moving. Even with a brace holding everything where it should be, it hurt, but once upon a time she had known worse pain. She put the pain to the back of her mind and readied herself for the arrival of her birth mother and half sister.

She'd already called and told everyone and anyone who cared that she was okay. Henry and Lee were set at the elder Lopezes for a bit longer, and Kim wasn't alone in the hospital anymore.

The door opened and Kerry steeled herself. "Oh, it's just you."

Janet closed the door. "Are you okay Kerry?"

"Fine, fine, but, Kim..." Kerry sighed, "Janet, a fucking plane crashed... it landed in her garage." Kerry blew out a breath, "How am I going to tell her that Roberta's a parapeligic?"

"Roberta's her... mother?"

Kerry shook her head, "No... I'm not sure exactly who she is to Kim, but, I spoke to her for a moment before... everything, and then from how Kim spoke about her too... they love each other just as much as a mother and daughter would."

Janet put a hand on Kerry's shoulder, "They'll both get through it. You'll all get through this."

Kerry nodded. "A business jet Janet, a plane..."

"It's happened before."

"I know, In South Bend, Indiana. But, still..." She sighed, "You should go. Next on my list is dealing with my birth mother and half sister, then, I need some ibuprofen."

Janet squeezed Kerry's shoulder, "Anything-" She glanced towards the next room, "-anything that you need."

Kerry nodded and patted Janet's hand, "I know where you are. I've been through worse."

Janet left and a moment later Dave opened the door, let Helen and Bridget it and closed it again. Kerry stood perfectly still and waited. She wasn't surprised when it was Bridget who spoke first. "We need your help Kerry."

Kerry started to answer, but her ringtone interrupted her. Bridget frowned, "Is that the song from 101 Dalmations?"

Kerry ignored the question and answered, "Hello? Florina?" After a moment she frowned, "Okay, okay, I'm on my way, I.." She closed her eyes, then opened them and looked down at her brace. "I'll be there. Yes, let me talk to my son." She waited for the phone to be passed, "Hey Henry. I'm coming okay? But, it's going to take longer than... just sit on the floor with her and rub circles on her back." She sighed in relief as her son answered her, "Yes, like you've seen me do it. You're a good big brother."

Morris poked his head into the room, "Chief?"

Kerry held her index finger up, "I love you too Henry." She hung up the phone, put it in a pocket and threaded her arm through the crutch's cuff, "Thank you Archie." She started to go towards the door, but Helen got in her way. "Helen, I-"

"This can't wait. Please..."

Kerry shook her head, "My daughter is sick, so... whatever it is, it -can- wait." She brushed by Helen and thought that she'd lost her.

Jerry did a double take when she saw her powering down the hall towards the admit desk using her old crutch. "Doctor Weaver?"

Kerry pointed at Dave, "Is Abby here?"

He shook his head, "Nope, she went home to get some shut eye. And, before you throw me looks and make sure that I know what's what... you're not even supposed to be here. We'll be fine Ch... Kerry. I'll make sure that Kim makes it upstairs myself."

"Thank you David."

She nearly jumped when Bridget put herself between Kerry and the door to the doctor's lounge. "We're going with you."

"I'm not driving, I can't- I'm taking the El."

Helen nodded, "Bridget will drive you then. To..."

"My mother in law's house, then..." She blew out a breath and shook her head, "Home I guess. Give me a moment to get my things."

She went into the doctor's lounge. Dave stared at the two women until Bridget looked up, "What?"

Dave shook his head, "A piece of advice. Whatever it is that's so, so pressing. Wait until she makes sure that Lee and Henry are okay." After another moment's pause he shook his head and went towards the room Kim was in.

Finally Kerry came out of the lounge, "Let's go."

oOOOOo

"Oh... I'm sorry..."

Teresa squinted at the dirty blonde haired woman who had just crashed into her. "Have to be more careful where you're going, my taser could have zapped you or something?"

"You often walk around with it on while it's on your person? That seems like it would be dangerous?"

Teresa moved back a step so that they were both under the small bit of overhang that there was to the side of the ambulance bay doors. "You here for someone?"

"No. Just to introduce myself to the new Chief of the ER."

"Ah, okay..."

The woman smiled and stuck her hand out, "Allison Cameron, Head of the Emergency Department at Mercy."

Teresa nodded, "That must be where I've seen you. Detective Teresa Ortiz, and, you're not going to find Weaver here today."

"Oh? Why is that Detective?"

Teresa shook her head, then, a small smile came to her face. "Well, Doctor, you ever eaten at New Magoos?"

"Ah, no... it sounds..."

Teresa laughed, "Contagious. Yeah, but, their food is damn good. I'll tell you what I know of the whole sordid tale over coffee..."

"Add food to that, and you've got a deal."


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Sorry about the delay with this part, other than life getting in the way, about 3/4th of the way through it I realized, crap, I left Bridget and Helen in the car, and had to rewrite a big part of the chapter.

oOOOOo

Elena Lopez gave a half smile to Kerry as the redhead came in the front door of Guillermo and Florina's house. "Henry has her mostly calmed down." The young woman looked much like her older sister save one thing. Where Sandy had been short and normal sized, Elena was as tall as her father Guillermo, at least 5'10", and as skinny as a rail.

Elena frowned when she saw Kerry's crutch, "Kerry, what happened?"

Kerry shook her head, "Doesn't matter. Leonora?"

Elena started towards the rooms that the various grandkids stayed in when they stayed over at Florina and Guillermo's. "Mama tried for a while to calm her, but," Elena shook her head, "Lee wanted her Mom not her Grandmom or Aunt."

Both Henry and Lee looked up when Elena and Kerry stepped into the room, and then rushed over to Kerry. "Mama- home- home now please."

Kerry picked her up with her left arm, "We're going home right now... Elena..."

"I'll tell Mama you left, but, just a bit of friendly sister-in-law advice. If you figure out why the little lady here freaked out..."

Kerry barely resisted rolling her eyes, "Call your mother and assuage her guilt?"

"Something like that."

Kerry rubbed circles on Leonora's back, "Thank you Elena."

Elena frowned, "For?"

Kerry's eyes twinkled, "Convincing your father to distract your mother."

She, Kerry and Henry walked back towards the front door, "Oh- you can pay me back by setting me up with a cute doc or two." Kerry gave Elena a look, "Male doc to be more specific. Well, if I have a couple more years like this last one, maybe..."

"Elena."

Elena opened and held open the door for the Weaver family, "Yeah, you're right. I just couldn't do it- I hate guys, but, I love 'em too. You know what I mean?"

Kerry smiled, "I actually think I do."

"But with women?"

Kerry just rolled her eyes with a smile, "Thank you Elena."

oOOOOo

"So, she's quite nice this... Allison. Although she insisted on being called Cameron. Why on earth would I do that when she has a perfectly good first name." Teresa smiled to herself, "I think that she actually kinda likes that I call her that, I guess we'll see, we're going on a proper date sometime next week." Teresa sat next to Roberta, holding the older woman's hand in her own. Roberta finally stirred, her eyes slowly blinking open. "Hey Roberta. How're you doing?"

"Kim?"

Teresa shook her head, "Still stable, and still not awake. Just your neighborhood cop here to keep you company."

"Young lady."

Teresa rolled her eyes as she finished Roberta's thought, "I shouldn't be so dismissive of myself. Workin' on it Roberta."

"I... are Julian, Calvin, Tasmin and the boys with her?"

Teresa nodded, "As well as Kate and Christy during non-work hours."

Roberta sighed, "Christy."

Teresa squeezed Roberta's hand, "She's been there for Ki-"

Roberta gave Teresa a look as she cut her off, "You can go too honey."

"Nah, can't stand that bitch Christy."

That pulled a short laugh from Roberta, "Thank you Teresa." Teresa opened her mouth to ask another question, but Roberta answered before Teresa could speak, "I'm alive Teresa. I know that later I may feel different, but, right now. I'm alive, and Kim's alive and that can't be a bad thing." She took a breath, but not a long enough one to let Teresa get in a word. "So, are you going to ask Kate out?"

"Roberta... I am perfectly able to take care of my own personal life you know."

"Oh, I know. But, you're not getting any younger young lady. So?"

Teresa shook her head. "No, but..."

"What's his name? Or her?"

"Allison."

oOOOOo

Leonora was tucked in and Kerry stuck her head into Henry's room. "Goodnight Henry."

"Mama."

She came in and sat on the edge of the bed and put her crutches down on the floor. She had switched to two of the more conventional wooden ones "What's up?"

"Is Lee going to be okay Mama?"

Kerry brushed back a lock of hair from Henry's forehead, "You need a haircut."

"Mama..."

"Yes, I think so. Did she say anything?"

Henry looked away from Kerry, "She wouldn't believe me or Nanna that you were okay. I told her and promised her and-" He paused, "Mama, are you okay?"

Kerry patted the brace around her knee, "This is holding it together. It was broken vertically, which means..."

Henry interrupted his Mom, "Oh, I know."

"Yes?"

He put his hands together horizontally, "Because the pully stuff is on the top and bottom and so it would pull the bone apart, like this." He did the motion, "But that doesn't happen as much if you broke it up and down. Right?"

A small smile came to Kerry's lips, "Yes, sort of. Pully stuff?"

Henry yawned, "I'm tired."

Kerry leaned down and kissed Henry's forehead, "I love you Henry."

"I love you too Mama." He closed his eyes.

Kerry stood, with a barely audible sigh put her arms over the crutches and left the room. Somehow she managed not to collapse until she got to the sofa. She put a hand to her head as the talking started. Bridget mostly, though Helen chimed in too. Kerry listened to none of it and after a few minutes they realized that she wasn't listening.

"Kerry- this is important."

That was Helen. Kerry practically growled back a response. "So says the woman who has disowned me not once, but twice now. Just- stop dancing around whatever it is that you need and ask."

Both women were silent for a moment before Helen spoke, "I need a liver, or part of a-"

"Lobe."

"A part of a liver. My son and Bridget are not good matches. You..."

"No."

Helen blinked in surprise. Bridget spoke, "How can you say no to your own mother?"

With every last ounce of strength Kerry stood and grasped the crutches under her arms, "Look. I have two kids and am the Head of a very busy Emergency Department, when exactly do you think I would have time to recover from this surgery? Not to mention that I just broke my kneecap. No. Now, please leave."

Bridget stood and approached Kerry, getting into the redhead's personal space, "How can you... she's our -mother-"

Kerry didn't get angry in response, simply took a step back as she responded, "No. My mother was Leonora Walker Weaver, the woman my daughter was named after. She saw me through every flu, cough, cold, the hell of being an outcast because of my crutch and all my other kid and teenage heartbreaks. Please go. I'm tired and in pain and have a long day tomorrow."

Bridget looked as though she wanted to fight with her half sister some more, but surprisingly it was Helen who took Bridget by the arm and gently led her out the front door. When Helen was alone in the doorway she turned back towards Kerry. "I'm sorry."

Kerry just stayed standing in the living room, staring down at the floor.


End file.
